Returning to the Road (Day 1)

I thought, a while back, that I had finished the Road to 180. I thought that maybe I could move on into something more. But the going forward in my life and being healthy has brought me back. I can't get the fact out of my head that I hit 180 before. The challenge now is, can I do it again and stay there? When I was on this road before, I could honestly say that I was in the best shape of my life. I could go out and run 5 miles like nothing. I was 5k ready all the time. Now, not so much. Now I have to train myself to get ready for a 5k. I don't have the drive as I once did. The love of running is still there, but sadly the will and determination has gone. I say "NO MORE!" There are still so many things that I can accomplish. So many 5k's to be ran. I need to get back to that point in my life where I can be ready to run tomorrow if I needed too. I don't want to have to train for something I could just do anytime I wanted. I'm back on this road for good and when I get there, yes I said when, I will fight to stay there. When I do go out and run it is the best feeling in the world. I am brought back to the time when I couldn't run. When all I did was sit around and eat. No exercise. No worries. But everything is different now. I have set myself to a higher standard and each time that I fall from that standard I hate it. And it seems I do that quite a lot here lately. I have become complacent in my endeavors. I can't get this one thought out of my head: "I've done it before, I can do it again." Well the question I am asking myself now is "Can you really?" When I fall off my diets and quit running, that little thought pops up. So I gained a few pounds, I can lose it easily. I stopped running, I can start again, at anytime. But I don't. I just let it go.

Not anymore.

I can feel the effects in my running of the free fall from my diet plans. The same diet plans that got me to 180 in the first place. The diet plans that helped me so much. It's time to get that thought out of my head of "I can do it again if I wanted" and actually do it. Prove it is what I'm saying to myself now. Don't think it. DO IT.

I need to get back to distance running and eating the way I should be. Now, I'm not saying that there might be days where I reward myself but I will now take those days in stride and work hard the next day to erase them. It will be a struggle, I can honestly say it will probably be harder than the first time I did it because of complacency. I need to get my mind set back to my goals in life. My goals of being there for my family, my goals of running a marathon possibly, my goals of completing a long overdue hike.

First things first. Get back to where I want to be. Now here is my challenge to myself: We go on vacation in 32 days. In that 32 days, I want to run and lose weight. As much as possible in those 32 days. I'm not saying that I will get close to 180, but for sure under 200. My start weight as of today is 209. This is day 1. Let's get to work!